I learned that I need to be grateful for every situation I find myself in. It's all for me. I learned, that even if I try to breathe through a problem there will always be someone who will not allow me to. That I have to learn to deal with that too. I learned, that even if the situation escalates into something horrendous, I try to be present every step of the way. That means not lashing back in anger, but taking time over a response. Easier said than done. Even if it does happen, to then realise that is what has happened and to be aware of that.
Standing in awareness, one can very quickly see where the back lash may occur. Every action has a reaction.
Gosh it is so difficult to always be present. I try to remind my self to 'listen' when the going gets tough. Listen to the bird song, a motor bike, the wind, water rushing, a clock ticking, anything that brings you back to the still point. It's only when you stop, take a breath and hear, that you are brought back to the moment and not attach big emotion to the stories in your head.
I was asked the other day why I like walking around 'jangling' with bells on my ankles.....Hmmm.... because they catch my attention and bring me back to the still point.
It has been a trying few days, year, in fact. The point has come where I have given up trying to fix problems. I no longer have the energy to walk the earth, so I am going to sit for a while and listen.